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The top may be the best part of the muffin, but that doesn’t make it ok to rock one…

March 5, 2010

No, this muffin is not delicious or nutritious.

Ladies, just go a size up. I don’t care if you are a size zero or ten, if you buy your pants too small, you WILL have a muffin top. I know it feels good to buy a smaller size, but just because you can button a pair of jeans with the help of pliers does not mean that they actually fit!

A good way to avoid muffin top syndrome is by staying far, far away from low and ultra-low rise jeans. This doesn’t by any stretch of the imagination mean you have to go out and purchase a pair of mom jeans. If your pants are offering borderline obscene views of your front and back, it’s probably safe to say they rest too low on your torso. If they sit above your belly button, you are Steve Urkel.

When you wear your pants too small, you also risk blinding innocent bystanders with your Foopa...

A pair of well-fitting jeans is ten times more flattering than one that is too small. The general public does not know what the size tag inside your pants says, but even Stevie Wonder can see the woman with the giant roll of skin hanging over her zipper. Sorry, that was a little graphic.

So, instead of skipping meals and purchasing your clothes a size-down, buy a bigger size and eat a muffin top- don’t wear it around your waist.

P.S.- Speaking of eating muffins, Panera Bread sells chocolate chip and pumpkin Muffies a.k.a giant muffin tops. Genius.

6 Comments leave one →
  1. March 20, 2010 4:01 pm

    Agreed. Please spare us the visual torture. I think my eyes are getting sore.

  2. KaraLoraine permalink
    March 20, 2010 7:06 pm

    “I’m your upgrade” — oh. my. word. that shirt really made the picture 10,000 times better.

    I will never understand why women insist on wearing pants that are too small. Doesn’t it hurt? I sometimes wonder how they can breathe or sit.

  3. Gesslar permalink
    April 21, 2010 1:20 pm

    Also, not to be critical, but the word is fupa. It is an acronym. 🙂

    • April 21, 2010 1:39 pm

      An acronym for what?

      Haha, kidding kidding, please don’t say it! Thanks for the heads-up!

      • Gesslar permalink
        April 22, 2010 6:05 am

        Lol, yeah, most girls regret asking when I tell them. Let’s leave it as a mystery!

  4. October 26, 2010 6:54 pm

    This is sad. Great post..

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