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Pretty in Porcelain…

March 16, 2010

Go porcelain, not to Pacific Tan...

Porcelain, not Pacific Tan...

Don’t worry, I’m not about to preach at you about the dangers of tanning. You already know. Tanning is bad for you. Duh. Everyone acted so shocked when scientists announced tanning is as lethal as slowly ingesting arsenic. I’m not buying the surprised looks. Not.Buyin’.It.

Mostly, my issue with tanning is it causes wrinkles. WRINKLES people! I’m not doing anything to speed up time’s bitch slap on my face. I don’t want to have to start injecting botulism poison into my pores any sooner than necessary.

Welp, good news fellow vain people: porcelain skin is popular once again! One has simply to glance at the pigment of young, hot Hollywood to notice the trend shift. So save yourself the money and the age lines, and buy a leather bag- don’t look like one.

Tip: I’m not saying you should start looking jaundiced, so don’t skip the blush. Also, being bronzed during summer months is normal– looking like an Oompa Loompa in February is not.

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