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You gotta fight, for your right, to paaarrttaayyy!

March 20, 2010

Officer, I don't think my father, the inventor of Krispy Kreme, would be very happy about this...

KNOW YOUR RIGHTS DARNIT! Police on college campuses get away with committing rights violations on the regular because students are often unaware of what they can and cannot do. This is a big problem.

You may be drunk and stupid, but that doesn’t mean police get to have their way with you. Congrats. Many officers will intimidate and even lie to collegiates as a means to their end- their end being you, in a cell, praying to God you don’t drop the soap. Kidding.

…But really, if you are committing a crime (like drinking underage), no matter what you will probably end up in a paddywagon. Once you have accepted this fact, pull yourself together and know that you are not completely screwed. If you know your rights, and assert them politely (stay away from name calling), you may just avoid going home with a criminal record. Here’s some tips…

1) NEVER, ever, consent to being searched. Period. Exclamation point. Police can pat you down and check your purse for “their own safety” (because the 110-pound sorority girl is totally packing heat), but that’s all. So, hypothetically, if you are drinking at a bar and you are not technically twenty-one, keep your fake i.d. in your bra or underoos. Hypothetically.

2) Keep your mouth shut. I know you may feel compelled to defend yourself, but just don’t. The only things coming out of your mouth should be “No, I do not consent” and “Am I free to go?”

3) Remember your arresting officer’s name and badge number.

4) Laws vary by state, but if you are pulled over for DUI, it is usually in your best interest not to blow. If you are under 21, anything above .00 will send you to the clink. You have the right to refuse a field sobriety test as well. Call a lawyer immediately and have them meet you. You may spend the night in jail, and have your license suspended, but if you get a DUI, you will spend the night in jail and have your license suspended. Oh, and you will also be charged with a felony. Minor detail.

5) Have a lawyer. Don’t wait until something happens to get one. Keep their number in your phone under “SMSA”- Save My Sorry Ass.

6) If insist upon driving with illegal substances in your vehicle, keep them in your glove compartment and lock it with your car key. I believe Hova put it best when he said, “My glove compartment’s locked and so is the trunk in the back, and I know my rights so you gunna need a warrant for that.” Word.

For more information check out…

Just a note: Don’t drink and drive. I don’t really care if you want to endanger your own life, but I’m precious cargo, and I would prefer to stay alive and kickin’.

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