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What do you mean I just DRANK my day’s worth of calories!?

June 9, 2010

I'll have a Double Quarter Pounder with cheese, a large fry, an apple pie, and a Diet Coke...because I'm watching my weight

Unless you are a total health nut, chances are you have little-to-no clue how many calories are in the beverages you consume. As my friend Christine says “drink calories don’t count.” Except they do…

When I first stumbled upon this article from, I was like “Whateva, it can’t be that bad. Your scare tactics don’t work on me.” Not true, they totally worked. Like worked better than those Broadview home security commercials where a man dressed in a full catsuit kicks down the woman’s door in the middle of the day. Seriously, do robbers wear black from head to toe during the day? I’m terrified, yet skeptical. Anyway, now I am seriously considering calling my utilities company to make sure there are no hidden fats or sugars in the tap water…

Ten Worst Drinks in the History of Liquid:

1. SoBe Green Tea= 4 slices Sara Lee Cherry Pie

Worst Bottled Tea

240 calories, 0 grams fat, and 61 grams of sugars. Is that even technically green tea? I feel like it should be labeled “Sugar Cubes Dipped in Some Flavored Water.”

2. Rock Star Energy Drink= 6 Krispy Kreme Original Glazed Doughnuts

Worst Energy Drink

280 calories, 0 grams fat, 62 grams sugars. Maybe chase your shots with sugar-free Red Bull instead. You’re still headed to heart attack avenue, but at least you’ll be skinny.

3. Sunkist Orange Soda= 6 Breyers Oreo Ice Cream Sandwiches

Worst Soda

320 calories, 0 grams fat, 84 grams sugars. Plus it turns your mouth orange.

4. Sierra Nevada Bigfoot (1)= 12-pack of Michelob Ultra

Worst Beer

330 calories, 0 grams fat, 32.1 grams carbohydrates. Seriously boys, it can’t be that much better.

5. Arizona Kiwi Strawberry (1 can)= 7 bowls of Froot Loops

Worst Juice Imposter

345 calories, 0 grams fat, 81 grams sugars. Way to let me down ‘Zona. And I though we had something special.

6. Dairy Queen Caramel MooLatte= 12 Dunkin’ Donuts Bavarian Kreme Doughnuts

Worst Frozen Coffee

870 calories, 24 grams fat, 112 grams sugars. I suggest you stick to hot coffee, and sit in from of a fan.

7. Auntie Anne’s Wild Cherry Lemonade Mixer= 11 bowls of Cookie Crisp cereal

You Win!: Worst Lemonade

470 calories, 0 grams fat, 110 grams sugars. And Cookie Crisp isn’t even that good…totally doesn’t taste like cookies…

8. Large Smoothie King Peanut Power Plus Grape= 20 Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups

Worst Smoothie

1,498 calories, 44 grams fat, 214 grams sugars. Literally, obese children eat less sugar on Halloween.

9. Krispy Kreme Lemon Sherbet Chiller= 16 medium-size chocolate eclairs

Worst Frozen Drink

980 calories, 40 grams fat, 115 grams sugars. Chiller or artery filler?

10. Traditional Red Lobster Lobsterita = 7 Almond Joy candy bars

Worst Margarita

890 calories, 0 grams fat, 183 grams carbohydrates. When it comes to carbs, lets work on finding a nice medium between Atkins and 183 grams per drink.

Click here for the full (and much more detailed) original article!

One Comment leave one →
  1. Aurora-mae permalink
    June 20, 2012 10:23 am

    Whatevaaa, your scare tactics won’t work on me. Sippin on my moo latte right about now, and gonna have a NON sugarr free redbull, fuck yeaah this is the shit

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