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My Mother is a Crazy Person, Part 1: Christmas in the Backyard

July 13, 2011

It has been a long time since I have posted here for a variety of reasons, namely that I had nothing good to say.  I still don’t really have anything good to say, but I have found a new source of inspiration: moving back in with my parents.

Hence, the title of what I’m sure will be an enthralling series of posts, all to be filed under the tagline, “My Mother is a Crazy Person.”  I would like to preface this by stating that I adore my mom; she is a far better person than I will ever be.  If there is an airline hierarchy to get to heaven, she will be flying JetBlue.  That said, let’s get this party started shall we?

This is your mission, if you choose to accept it...

How many lawn ornaments do you see in the above picture?  If you said any number less than 6, sorry, you lose.  Here’s the best part: I took that picture using the extended view option on my phone, yet I was still only able to capture around 1/3 of the knickknacks currently residing in our back yard.  And no, I’m not exaggerating.  That’s just how she rolls.

This has been an ongoing dance between my mother and I for years now.  She’ll bring home something new, force me to come see how FANTASTIC it looks, then get upset when I am forced to tell her, once again, that I do not support this sh*t. It is the outdoor garden person version of hoarding. Walking through my back yard is like an acid trip laced with some NyQuil wrapped up in a Tim Burton movie.  But like seriously, aren’t the flowers pretty?

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P.S.- I lied, I actually used my mom’s phone to take the pictures as starving children in China who have no phones wouldn’t even want my phone.  I know, I know, it was cruel.  It’s like trampling someone with their own horse.  Unless that horse is a mini horse.  That would be adorable and probably a lot of fun.

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