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My Mother is a Crazy Person, Part 2: Doggy Dialect

July 25, 2011

Yep, crazier than this.


It would not be the slightest bit unreasonable or inaccurate to say that my mother and stepfather behave like they are the Dr. and Mrs. Dolittle of the Midwest. And by that I mean, I’m 90% certain they believe they can speak to animals. I also very seriously suspect that sometimes, on a full moon on Friday the 13th at midnight when there’s a double rainbow, they hear them talk back. There is no other logical explanation for the amount of conversations that take place between human and canine in my household.

Around 30-50% of all words spoken here daily are directed at the dog. My “roommates” also know the name and geographic location of every other four-legged creature within a 5 mile radius of our doorstep, and which ones Sparky has made his bitches. They may not be able to tell you when their middle child is be returning from a summer on the west coast (Hi Lauren!), but they would be more than happy to regale you with an account of the neighborhood chipmunk’s ongoing struggle with rapid weight gain. The end.

Hello, my name is Sparky, but you may call me Sparkles McCupcakerson Von Rhinestone. And yes, I am a boy.

P.S.- While we aren’t on the topic of Steve Irwin even a little bit, here’s an awesome Steve Irwin video a coworker introduced me to last week…

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